
today is 20 May 2008....
i been broken up by confirmation oredi pass 1 month.. truely not been love dono since when....
uhm.....
this is realy a fuck up 1 month for me... comfirm break by her, then i have a sucky week for that week. my life wit at that week is beer, fight, blood and other negative thing.
after that, i have prob wit my group mate for our group assignment, tat time i realy feel tat in this world i m alone, n no one will help... n no ppl is care about me... i cant let my parent noe...to prevent they worry. I only realise tat i m totaly alone, without her... no ppl share my pain n happy.
last friday, i found out that she was doing some realy bad mistake, but tat time i realy not sure is real ornot... but after one day i heard my mum calling tat my dog is pass away. Y??? i realy feel tat god is treat me so unfair, y sundely all the prob come to me... that night i also been truely sure that she is realy in big troub, and do a realy wrong decision... this is private thing..so cannot mention.
tat night...i m worry about her, until morning 7sth only tired n fall sleep, but i just slept for 2 hour, for my K9 dead n worry about her, i m totaly exhausted but cant sleep at all, i am in the worry mood, i feel tat i realy lousy, cos i totaly cant do anything, all the thing just will happen n happen, i need to suffer all the pain.
sunday, i finaly make a decision, i choose to scarifice my friendship n possible chance of geting bek with her. i make the 1st time of scolding to her since we noe each others. i need to let her wakeup, cant do the wrong decision. this time, for her good, i cruel to her, i dunwan see her make a big mistake n cant turning bek in future. i scold her, that is bcos i still worry about her n lov her.
but my love to her, i think she wont appreciate it la.. n now is in angry mood say wanna delete my through her life.
DO u all think i make a good decision??? i also sad for make this decision, just tat for her good, i dun mind she hate me, n treat me as a enemy. i just dunwan see her continue do wrong thing.
my life is full of obstruction to stop me been grow up, but all of thsi can be more mature n will more calm do make a real decision, all of this is bcos long distand, distand let me lost my lov, lost my dog, until my lov 1 do wrong, i just can scold her hope tat she wakeup.
1 month, just 1 month, bside me happen so many many ting. in this 1 month, i grow up, n will be more mature to handle thing, n will choose a most benefit n less loss way to handle all the thing. If i wan gain sth, i need to sacrifice sth, this world din have any free food. I m grow up n more mature, i throw away my childish n dream. i will be more reality. I need to hardworking n sacrifice to gain something. this month, i throw away my childish n bcome a MAN that will have responsible, i must handle thing tat i done n choose way tat will loss just some.
Vicky, sorry, i need to do this. hope tat u wont sad too long, try to forget me this BAD guy la.. as u say i m not suitable to u. as my thinking is not the type tat u wan.
Hope dat everything for me will be more smooth after this black 1 month. i need to rest and recover d, i dono i still can stand for another impact.
May the god wish me....